Protective Style #1

Decided to get a braided updo, and crossing my fingers that it lasts at least couple of weeks. Took a chance and went to a girl I saw on Instagram (CurlyTayTay) all the way in the Bx. It was well worth the trip :)





I haven't had braids since 2007... At least this style makes me look almost my age, lol.

Hair Jealousy ~ That Evil Green Monster

I am jealous of my daughters' hair texture...

I co-washed my daughters hair last night and although it is not growing in the back (which really frustrates me!), it is somewhat long in the front. Thank God for shrinkage though, since it looks even after its dry, lol... But I love the texture of it. The natural curls are to die for, and I only hope that it doesn't change (she's only 17 months). I hate to style it because #1: I can't cornrow or flat twist & #2: the tiny ponytails that I do seem too tight for her hair so I only do that maybe once or twice every two weeks. Otherwise she's rockin' her TWA.

Prior to relaxing my hair umpteen years ago, it was just unmanageable and my mother always wanted to keep it straight. My hair was never thick or long (unlike my mother and 2 sisters). It was always limp and looked better straight. Now, I just want to throw a paper bag over my head and call it a day.

I'm getting tired of resorting to ponytails but idk what else to do! And I know I can't go back to the creamy crack since my hair is falling out because of it. I'm between a rock and a hard place.

The more I whine and complain and think about it, the big chop decision seems closer and closer. Everyday I check to see how much natural hair I have up there, so I could see if I have the nerve to cut it to that length... I don't think today is that day, lol. Still don't have the balls to do it just yet.

You know, I didn't even do this for the "trend" aspect of it (I never follow trends!), I truly just felt that the last relaxer was the final straw for my hair, because it just really started breaking and falling out. I think I'd be bald if I continued.

Oh and before I go, a funny story: I work at an airline, so last week when I wore my depressing-lookin' do, I had a passenger who had some really nice dreads. After I finish checking him in for his flight and whatnot, he says, "hold on lemme give u something." So he pulls out a card for a natural hair care salon in Brooklyn. And I just thought, "it's that obvious that I need help??" Lol.

I do need help, but rather than go to a salon and have them do my hair, I want someone to teach me how to do it on my own. Ain't nobody got money for salons every two weeks!

Was it a fail? You decide!

So here's the results of my second attempt at the flexi rod set, this time first doing two-stand twists and only using the Eco Styler Gel w/ olive oil. My first one kinda sucked big time so I just put a scarf over it. How is it? I think this one sucks too, but it was a tad bit better than the day before and I didn't have time to do anything else before work (Yes I went to work like this!! Lol)





The top left pic is the final look (with a headband) before I left the apartment. The bottom right is right after I took out the rods & twists.

I was so disappointed. My hair was frizzy, felt like straw and whenever I touch it, a stand or two falls out. It feels kind of dry- which I don't understand since I used oil when taking the twists out. There was no definition at all, it just looked like wtf?! So idk, I'm so through with this, its not even funny. I'm tempted to just chop it all off (or wear a scarf for the rest of my life, lol). But idk, I'm so scared! Its too big of a change for me, and I don't work well with change -- you probably knew that already from reading this blog :D

Somebody, anybody, please help!

Trained to be forever straight

A couple of days ago, I headed to the Dominican salon with my mother. After she requested to dye her hair, I decided I should go ahead and color my own. (see previous post)

I watched my mother after her hair was washed and thought to myself, 'her hair is really nice when its curly'... And then I came to the realization that I really haven't seen my mothers hair in its naturally curly state. She's always had it straightened. In fact she still straightens it every morning with an old school hot comb. And it is long too, below shoulder length, maybe mid back. My hair has never ever grown past my shoulders, but my sisters inherited her genes I guess, because they have had long hair as well.

Back in junior high, I had first gotten a relaxer because it was hard to manage. So it became second nature to continue with it up until now. But seeing my mothers hair that day really made me realize that I had been conditioned to become partial to straight hair.

On Mothers Day, I woke up with my hair in a mess. I decided to wash, blow dry, and straighten it real quick so I could look a lil presentable. It wasn't "fresh from the salon straight", but it was doable. However when I arrived at my mothers house, I didn't receive the reaction I had wanted from her. I mean, I keep getting the "that's good you decided to stop getting a perm" but not "I like how your hair looks when you do it, and not the salon". Not those exact words but you should get my drift.
I'll admit, I haven't found a style that's easy for me to do without a flat iron, and even some days that doesn't work so I throw it in my typical boring ponytail.

But I just feel like she'll never be satisfied with my hair, the way I want it. I know I'm not doing this to please anyone but myself but damn, a lil encouragement along the way would help.

For once though I would love to see how her hair looks in a wash and go, or something to that effect. But I guess if keeping it straight is what she likes, then I have no reason to try and change that. I just wish she would embrace the fact that I'm going to wear my hair in its curly natural state one day (when I've fully transitioned), and hope that when I do she doesn't say "oh u need to go to the hair dresser" (as I've heard many times before)

My new highlights

Ok, maybe i did more harm than good, highlighting my already damaged, transitioning hair... But I've been wanting to add some color for years and never got the nerve to do it. I'm so happy with the outcome, that it doesn't even matter. If only someone could come style it for me, that would be great!