Protective Style #1

Decided to get a braided updo, and crossing my fingers that it lasts at least couple of weeks. Took a chance and went to a girl I saw on Instagram (CurlyTayTay) all the way in the Bx. It was well worth the trip :)





I haven't had braids since 2007... At least this style makes me look almost my age, lol.

Hair Jealousy ~ That Evil Green Monster

I am jealous of my daughters' hair texture...

I co-washed my daughters hair last night and although it is not growing in the back (which really frustrates me!), it is somewhat long in the front. Thank God for shrinkage though, since it looks even after its dry, lol... But I love the texture of it. The natural curls are to die for, and I only hope that it doesn't change (she's only 17 months). I hate to style it because #1: I can't cornrow or flat twist & #2: the tiny ponytails that I do seem too tight for her hair so I only do that maybe once or twice every two weeks. Otherwise she's rockin' her TWA.

Prior to relaxing my hair umpteen years ago, it was just unmanageable and my mother always wanted to keep it straight. My hair was never thick or long (unlike my mother and 2 sisters). It was always limp and looked better straight. Now, I just want to throw a paper bag over my head and call it a day.

I'm getting tired of resorting to ponytails but idk what else to do! And I know I can't go back to the creamy crack since my hair is falling out because of it. I'm between a rock and a hard place.

The more I whine and complain and think about it, the big chop decision seems closer and closer. Everyday I check to see how much natural hair I have up there, so I could see if I have the nerve to cut it to that length... I don't think today is that day, lol. Still don't have the balls to do it just yet.

You know, I didn't even do this for the "trend" aspect of it (I never follow trends!), I truly just felt that the last relaxer was the final straw for my hair, because it just really started breaking and falling out. I think I'd be bald if I continued.

Oh and before I go, a funny story: I work at an airline, so last week when I wore my depressing-lookin' do, I had a passenger who had some really nice dreads. After I finish checking him in for his flight and whatnot, he says, "hold on lemme give u something." So he pulls out a card for a natural hair care salon in Brooklyn. And I just thought, "it's that obvious that I need help??" Lol.

I do need help, but rather than go to a salon and have them do my hair, I want someone to teach me how to do it on my own. Ain't nobody got money for salons every two weeks!

Was it a fail? You decide!

So here's the results of my second attempt at the flexi rod set, this time first doing two-stand twists and only using the Eco Styler Gel w/ olive oil. My first one kinda sucked big time so I just put a scarf over it. How is it? I think this one sucks too, but it was a tad bit better than the day before and I didn't have time to do anything else before work (Yes I went to work like this!! Lol)





The top left pic is the final look (with a headband) before I left the apartment. The bottom right is right after I took out the rods & twists.

I was so disappointed. My hair was frizzy, felt like straw and whenever I touch it, a stand or two falls out. It feels kind of dry- which I don't understand since I used oil when taking the twists out. There was no definition at all, it just looked like wtf?! So idk, I'm so through with this, its not even funny. I'm tempted to just chop it all off (or wear a scarf for the rest of my life, lol). But idk, I'm so scared! Its too big of a change for me, and I don't work well with change -- you probably knew that already from reading this blog :D

Somebody, anybody, please help!

Trained to be forever straight

A couple of days ago, I headed to the Dominican salon with my mother. After she requested to dye her hair, I decided I should go ahead and color my own. (see previous post)

I watched my mother after her hair was washed and thought to myself, 'her hair is really nice when its curly'... And then I came to the realization that I really haven't seen my mothers hair in its naturally curly state. She's always had it straightened. In fact she still straightens it every morning with an old school hot comb. And it is long too, below shoulder length, maybe mid back. My hair has never ever grown past my shoulders, but my sisters inherited her genes I guess, because they have had long hair as well.

Back in junior high, I had first gotten a relaxer because it was hard to manage. So it became second nature to continue with it up until now. But seeing my mothers hair that day really made me realize that I had been conditioned to become partial to straight hair.

On Mothers Day, I woke up with my hair in a mess. I decided to wash, blow dry, and straighten it real quick so I could look a lil presentable. It wasn't "fresh from the salon straight", but it was doable. However when I arrived at my mothers house, I didn't receive the reaction I had wanted from her. I mean, I keep getting the "that's good you decided to stop getting a perm" but not "I like how your hair looks when you do it, and not the salon". Not those exact words but you should get my drift.
I'll admit, I haven't found a style that's easy for me to do without a flat iron, and even some days that doesn't work so I throw it in my typical boring ponytail.

But I just feel like she'll never be satisfied with my hair, the way I want it. I know I'm not doing this to please anyone but myself but damn, a lil encouragement along the way would help.

For once though I would love to see how her hair looks in a wash and go, or something to that effect. But I guess if keeping it straight is what she likes, then I have no reason to try and change that. I just wish she would embrace the fact that I'm going to wear my hair in its curly natural state one day (when I've fully transitioned), and hope that when I do she doesn't say "oh u need to go to the hair dresser" (as I've heard many times before)

My new highlights

Ok, maybe i did more harm than good, highlighting my already damaged, transitioning hair... But I've been wanting to add some color for years and never got the nerve to do it. I'm so happy with the outcome, that it doesn't even matter. If only someone could come style it for me, that would be great!

So, um... yea...

As expected I've already grown tired of this lifestyle change I wanted. Last Monday was like the best day (and the only day I almost completely followed through with my "healthiness"). I woke up early, got the kids ready and to their separate day cares on time. Went back home, made a smoothie, completed a Jillian Michaels 30 min video on YouTube (minus the planks, those are hard as shit!), figured out what to do to my awful braid-out [see picture], showered, got dressed, left for work on time, caught the bus from the employee lot on time (I can never seem to do that), bought a salad from Chili's (expensive, but yummy) and drank water all day!

Now ask me what happened the next day! No exercising, I might've made a smoothie (I can't remember), and a half chicken, rice and veggies meal from Sbarro. And the next day, which is my day off, I don't think I ate much all day but I did make some really good beef stir fry for the first time. I did get my haircut though and washed my car (even though it rained a couple of hours later -__-)

As you can see, I don't need to go on because honestly, I haven't exercised since last Monday and I've made smoothies but only one a day, if that... And as far as healthy eating goes, if I don't cook, I'm buying the cheapest, unhealthy meal there is when I'm at work.

Ugh, I need a personal trainer or something.

On another note, I hate my hair. There I said it. This transition is horrendous. If I was it myself, I have to straighten it or else I look worse than Buckwheat. My face wouldn't work with a short cut, I just know it, I imagine it everyday. I am just at a loss with everything about me. Smh, I think I'll just get fat and go back to damaging my hair.

Oh and when I put a pic up on Instagram of my new haircut, my ex's cousin comments "Your face is getting fat." Gee, thanks Captain Obvious. Having a second child really messed my body up. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to death, but she screwed up my metabolism. After having my son I was losing weight without even trying. Right before I found out I was pregnant with lil miss, I was fitting into jeans that I couldn't get one leg in just a few months before. Now, I'm still at my post-pregnancy weight, stuck at 155. I don't mind the number, I like that number. However I need to be toned and I'm just so frustrated when I feel like I'm alone in this.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I'm getting discouraged :(

Someone out there please HELP!

The new healthy ME??

The main issue I have with myself is trying to do everything at once. And I see that I am doing that now with this whole "natural" thing.

I'm starting to workout, and thinking about juicing, and no more relaxer in my hair... Too much on my plate. Mind you, I'm lazy. If I'm motivated, I'll continue with this stuff. If not I'll drop it as quickly as it began.

My workout consists of following videos on YouTube (my new best friend!) I did a lil something on Thursday and I am so sore! As of right now, I don't have a clue what my schedule will be but I hope I can stick to this. My "baby" belly needs to go asap! I like the extra 20 lbs I put on but the belly is just in the way...

My diet consists of one, maybe two, fattening meals a day. If I cook, the meal will be healthy to an extent. I am a meat and potatoes girl... Green leafy veggies are not my thing. On a normal work day, I will skip breakfast (because I'm running out the door) and grab an expensive airport meal at work. Usually I stick to a burger/fries or pizza, or Chinese (my fave is chicken and broccoli, at least there's vegetables!). I can't see myself spending extra on a salad, that I'm barely going to get full from. So unless I bring leftovers from home, my diet is going to suck. Which is why I might try juicing. I need to add spinach and kale and such to my veggie-lacking diet, and juicing seems to be the only way I can keep the yucky greens down.

Is this health kick just a phase, or is it going to be the way of life for me? I'll let you guys know in a few days, lol ;)

Addicted to natural (Farewell to the creamy crack)

So its been a minute since I've written last and not much has gone on since I last wrote. Except for the fact that I am obsessed with hair now! I'm googling hairstyles, cuts and colors... Hair care regimens and researching products... Still watching tutorials on YouTube (and failing miserably at following them)... Staying up till the wee hours washing my hair because I just can't go to sleep thinking about it...

I've gone natural crazy!

I asked others for advice on my newfound addiction. I still have no clue what I'm doing or how I'm going to go about doing this whole natural thing. I got mixed answers. Some people say cut it all off and rock a TWA (or teeny weeny afro), others say cut it all off and put in braids or a weave, while the rest say leave it alone and let it take its course. My take on those opinions:

1. I doubt I would look good with short hair, and my hair takes forever to grow.

2. I can't stand weaves, or extensions, or wigs, and have always prided myself on not wearing anything of the sort. But I have thought about it, especially recently. However I just can't bring myself to spend the money on that stuff.

3. If I leave my hair as is, there will be more breakage and thinning, and I can't take it anymore!

I'm at a loss! I wish that I had a personal stylist or something to do all my thinking for me.

So all you naturalistas out there, please give me some real advice (or come do my hair for me everyday). I need to hear from people who transitioned without the "big chop" and persevered through it all... I already know my hair journey is going to be long and rough.

Naturally Frustrated!

So the “new” hype is natural hair. No relaxer, just curly natural hair. I have been relaxing my hair since junior high so all I know is straight relaxed hair. I can't stand my hair when I've gone too long without relaxing so I tend to keep it in a ponytail until I go to a salon. I hate washing my own hair (“ain’t nobody got time for that”) and I am not creative at all when it comes to styling my hair.

However, my hair has been breaking for months. I can’t comb it without seeing a bunch of strands on the floor or in the sink. Thus, my reasoning for “going natural”. I haven’t had a perm for almost 3 months now. And the last time I washed my own hair I think I did pretty well.

My issue is styling. And dealing with transitioning hair.

I have spent hours looking on different blogs and websites for advice on products and styling. But I haven’t found a blog for beginners who are transitioning. My hair is straight, but maybe an inch (or less) from the roots is curly. I have no clue what to do with it, and I’m so ready to give up and go back to my “creamy crack”.

Also, my baby girl has some off the wall, short, natural hair. I have yet to find a good tutorial on what to do with my toddlers hair. She hates when I wash it! And I have no clue how to style it, so she goes out with an uncombed afro everyday. I feel bad but I’m so clueless when it comes to natural hair! I dont know how to cornrow (neatly, or on short hair), and her hair’s too short to do much of anything other than aforementioned afro, so I’m at a loss…

Can someone out there help me out???